Ranting and Roaring

[Libby] Davies [a NDP Member of Parliament] cites “discrimination” [in the murder of 11 to 63 hookers by a pig farmer], but the CP story isn’t clear on what kind of discrimination she means. If she wants to turn mass murder into a gender issue, well, we’ll part company. To say it was about class would be closer to the truth: if you set out to kill 63 woman lawyers, the whole country would be in lockdown before you got ten percent of the way.

The Hamm government plans to introduce standardized literacy tests for grades 6, 9 and 12, but it won’t stop people from graduating if they fail the last one.

Deputy Education Minister Dennis Cochrane said some graduates will receive an “adjusted diploma” that alerts potential employers about their shortcomings.

“They will graduate, but it will be a diploma that will indicate they haven’t met the literacy requirement,” Cochrane said yesterday.

 From: dave@garfield.UUCP (dave@garfield.UUCP) Subject: Smileys - the Ultimate List, complete with duplications!  Newsgroups: net.jokes View: Complete Thread (11 articles) | Original Format  Date: 1986-03-02 15:34:31 PST     Let me be the first to flood the net with this stuff. Collected from many articles in 83/84 ...        the normal smiling face, appended to a sentence or an article means         'this is a joke' or 'this is supposed to make you laugh' :->     normal smiling face with deformed lips, same as above except person           who submitted it has problems with their lips :-{)    normal smiling face with a moustache, same as #1 except     submitter has moustache :-}     normal smiling face with pretty lips, same as #1 except 	person that submitted it is wearing lipstick or some other 	lip appearance improving device       no expression face, 'that comment doesn't phase me'       sad face, 'that comment makes me sad [mad]'       smiling face gets his lights punched out (could be pirate 	smiling face??), submitter is a practical joker who played 	one too many and got beat up ;-|     no expression face gets his lights punched out, says nothing 	but still gets beat up ;-(     sad face gets his lights punched out, sad or mad and got 	beat up, or 'that makes me so mad that if I ever 	see you I'll punch your lights out' :-\     popeye smiling face, for people who look like popeye ;-\              popeye gets his lights punched out :-]     biting sarcasm smiling face, used when sarcasm is intended,          since we cannot inflect our voice over the net :-[     biting criticism smiling face, ditto for criticism :*)     drunk smiling face, for those of us who like get intoxicated before          or while reading netnews :~)     smiling face needs a nosejob, no explanation necessary  [:|]    submitter is a robot (or other appropriate AI project) :>)     submitter has a big nose :<|     submitter attends an Ivy League school :%)%    submitter has acne =:-)    submitter is a hosehead :-(*)   submitter is getting sick of most recent netnews articles and             is about to vomit :-)8    submitter is well dressed 8:-)    submitter is a little girl :-)-{8  submitter is a big girl  %-)     submitter is cross-eyed #-)     submitter partied all night :-*     submitter just ate a sour pickle -:-)    submitter sports a mohawk and admires Mr. T (:)-)   submitter likes to scuba dive :-'|    submitter has a cold :-)'    submitter tends to drool ':-)    submitter accidentally shaved off one of his eyebrows         this morning (-:     submitter is Don Ellis from Tektronix 8:]     normal smiling face except that submitter is a gorilla %-^     submitter is Picasso (-:     submitter is left-handed 0-)     submitter is an arc-welder *:o)    submitter is a Bozo 8-)	submitter wears glasses *<|:-)	submitter is Santa Claus (Ho Ho Ho) o-)	submitter is a cyclops %-)     submitter with long bangs (-)     submitter needing a haircut 0-)     submitter wearing scuba mask @-)   	person submitting is Cyclops *-(  	Cyclops got poked in the eye %-)  	person submitting has been staring        	at the terminal for 36 hours B-| 	person submitting is wearing cheap sunglasses P-)  	person submitting is getting fresh :^(  	submitter has had his nose put out of joint.  Useful for replying to flames. |-)	Submitter is asleep (boredom) .-)	Submitter has one eye '-)	Submitter only has a left eye, which is closed :=)	Submitter has two noses :-D	Submitter talks too much :-o	Submitter is shocked :-{~	submitter has read too many of the toilet paper articles previous to lunch :-%	Respondent has beard. :-@	Respondent's beard has permanent wave *or* was drawn by Picasso. :-#	Respondent's lips are sealed. +-(:-)  Submitter is the pope :-%	Respondent has beard. :-@	Respondent's beard has permanent wave *or* was drawn by Picasso. :-#	Respondent's lips are sealed. ::-)    respondent wears glasses :-}     respondent wears lipstick [:-)	Submitter is listening to walkman thingy. {(:-)	Submitter is wearing toupee. }(:-(	Submitter, wearing toupee in wind. <|-)=	Submitter is chinese.	(sorry bout that) <|-(=	Submitter is chinese and doesn't like this article. :-(	Submitter has read too many 'smiley' articles.   ___  /   \ | RIP | |_____|	Submitter has recently died  ----	and one posted last summer ... (some duplication sorry ...) From:
   	ha ha			~~:-(	net.flame |-)	hee hee			O |-)	net.religion |-D	ho ho :->	hey hey			8 :-I	net.unix-wizards  	boo hoo			  X-(	net.suicide :-I	hmm			E-:-I	net.ham-radio :-O	uh oh			 >:-I	net.startrek  	nyah nyah		 3:o[	net.pets |-P	yuk  :-}	beard :-{	mustache :-#	braces :-X	bow tie :-Q	smoker <:I	dunce (:I	egghead @:I	turban  8-)	glasses B-)	horn-rims 8:-)	glasses on forehead :-8(	condescending stare ;-)	wink >:-<	mad :-`	smiley spitting out its chewing tobacco :-1	smiley bland face :-!		" :-@	smiley face screaming :-#|	smiley face with bushy mustache :-$	smiley face with it's mouth wired shut :-%	smiley banker :-6	smiley after eating something sour :^)	smiley with pointy nose (righty) :-7	smiley after a wry statement 8-)	smiley swimmer :-*	smiley after eating something bitter :-&	smiley which is tongue-tied :-9	smiley licking it's lips :-0	smiley orator :-(	un-smiley :-)	smiley standard 	smiley invisible man (:-(	unsmiley frowning (:-)	smiley big-face ):-)		" ):-( 	unsmiley big-face )8-)  	scuba smiley big-face =:-)	smiley punk-rocker =:-(  	(real punk rockers don't smile) =:-#}   smiley punk with a mustache.... +:-)	smiley priest :-q	smiley trying to touch its tongue to its nose :-e	disappointed smiley :-t	cross smiley :-i	semi-smiley :-o	smiley singing national anthem :-p	smiley sticking its tongue out (at you!) :-[	un-smiley blockhead :-]	smiley blockhead :-{	smiley variation on a theme :-}	ditto {:-)	smiley with its hair parted in the middle }:-)	above in an updraft :-a	lefty smilely touching tongue to nose :-s	smiley after a BIZARRE comment :-d	lefty smiley razzing you g-)	smiley with ponce-nez glasses :-j	left smiling smilely :-k	beats me, looks like something, tho. :-l	y. a. s. :-:	mutant smiley :-\	undecided smiley :-|	"have an ordinary day" smiley ;-)	winking smiley :-<	real sad smiley :->	y.a.s. :-z	y.a.c.s.  	"my lips are sealed" smiley :-c	bummed out smiley :-v	talking head smiley :v)	left-pointing nose smiley :-b	left-pointing tongue smiley :-/	lefty undecided smiley  	smilely smoking a pipe .-]	one-eyed smilely ,-}	wry and winking 0-)	smiley cyclops (scuba diver?) :-=)	older smiley with mustache :u)	smiley with funny-looking left nose :n)	smiley with funny-looking right nose :<	midget unsmiley :>	midget smiley }:^#})  mega-smiley:  updrafted bushy-mustached pointy nosed smiley with 		a double-chin  dave --  The             UUCP: {utcsri,ihnp4,allegra,mcvax}!garfield!dave Mercenary     CDNNET: David Janes  Programmer  ___________________________________________________________ 

Let me describe hell as I know it: sitting in a circle singing the Itsy Bitsy Spider with other adults. I will sing it in the privacy of my home; I will sing it in the car with the windows down; I will even hum it to myself now and then, since the song contains valuable lessons about perseverance and judging the rightness of a situation. It’s different from “Hickory Dickory Dock,” in which the cretinous mouse runs up the clock, gets knocked off when the bells strike the hour, and continues to run up again on the hour until presumably the percussive effect of the clock striking 12 stops his trembling heart. Could the mouse run up during a non-bell interval? Could he abandon the vertical / horological gambit in favor of scaling an object not given to calamitous gonging? Idiot. The itsy-bitsy spider, on the other hand, correctly apprehends the situation: the sun comes out, dries up that which washed him down, making another assault on the spout feasible.

I grieve for those who lost loved ones a year ago, but, more importantly, I fear for those who may lose loved ones in the future. I fear that our government isn’t up to the task of preventing further atrocities, further outrages, because a year later, it appears to remain more concerned with bureaucratic empire-building, self-aggrandizement, and local pork than with preventing a repeat of what happened a year ago.

I hope that appearances are wrong, and that at some point, we clarify the nature of the war in which we are engaged. It isn’t a war against terrorism. It is a war against a radical belief system that is ideologically opposed to almost everything upon which our nation and civilization is based. Until it, and the governments that support it, are defeated decisively, the war will not be over, and we will not truly be able to feel safe again.

That is all.

The Canoe.qc.ca web site has learned that American Marines in the Persian Gulf have been placed on DEFCON 2 alert status, a possible precursor to war with Iraq.

A senior source inside the Expeditionary force of American Marines – a special operations unit that is usually first on the scene – told Canoe.qc.ca that President Bush has put U.S. military forces in the Middle East and Southeastern Asian on high alert.

The senior source, who addressed U.S. Marines stationed in Canada, added that Delta elite corps, Rangers and Marines throughout the world would be ready to move “within less than 18 hours.”

“Exclusive: U.S. troops on DEFCON 2 alert”