Dear De Boer's Furniture/Pizza Nova:

When I visit your site, I want to find out about furniture/order a pizza. I do not want to LISTEN TO YOUR G*DD*AMNED THEME SONG/LISTEN TO YOUR G*DD*AMNED THEME SONG or have to CLICK THROUGH A F*CKING SPLASH SCREEN/NAVIGATE THROUGH YOUR SH*TTY MENU SYSTEM. Hint: NO ONE DOES. Please fire the subliterate retards you hired somehow through a wormhole back to 1995 and hire a competent web designer and get a real site that people can use.

Thanks for your consideration,

Me.